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I don't care how much you love her, RUN! Son has Mommy issues, Mommy has son issues and there are CLEAR boundary issues. He's still "mommy's boy" and that's not going to change. And if she can't or won't stand up for you and set healthy boundaries now, she's never going to.
You had to know this was an issue before you proposed. WHY would you put yourself in this situation? Love is NOT everything no matter what people say.